Vulnerability

I am so blessed in this life. I never stop smiling in amazement with the happiness that is brought to me each day! I am so thankful. Last week, I forgot that I was going to give everyone a little update on the letters that went onto the sub with James. I haven't heard anything from him about the letters, but I am so excited about the idea. For anyone who doesn't know, I asked that James' close friends and family write letters to him and send them to me. I took the letters and sealed them up and put dates throughout the deployment. I told James that all the letters were different little things from me, so he is now discovering that the letters are from friends and family and not just me! I ended up having enough letters to date one for every Monday that he is out there... hence the Monday blogs :-)!! I have the details of when he will get everyone's letters, so I will let you know the Monday that he is scheduled to read your letter as we go along!

This has been such a fun and busy week! On Tuesday, I had my sign language class and we learned a ton of signs associated with Engagement and Marriage. I learned the words for husband and wife and bride and groom. It was really fun. My professor knows that I am engaged and knows that James is away and always has something to say about it. He is so funny. I love thinking and talking about James... Kasey knows all about that. He makes my day regularly.

On Thursday, I went out to Dunkin Donuts with a friend, Anna, who had her own fabulous news to share! It isn't my place to share the news, but big Congratulations to you girl!! We were talking about the wedding plans and everything, apparently very loudly. This very precious man came over to us and asked if I was getting married. He then went into his wallet and pulled out a business card for Absolute Prestige Limousine and said that he had the best cars around and that he would give me a good deal if I came by. Ha. It was so funny.

Friday was a super busy day. After work, Kasey and I went and looked at wedding dresses and bridesmaid dress, it was so much fun! I haven't asked anyone to be a bridesmaid yet, but I already know what I want the dresses to look like, so I wanted to check them out. After we looked at the dresses, we went to get a snack because the only dinner reservations that we could get were for 9pm! We took Aunt Christa to the airport and then went over to get dressed and then we headed to ICHIBAN a delicious Japanese Steakhouse. We had the best time! We sat with some great people, which always makes it a lot more fun. I couldn't pick which pictures I liked best, so you can feel like you were actually there...


Kasey and I were having a hysterical time trying to get a good picture of the two of us.


One of my favorite parts of dinner.


I was super stoked about the budda cup!! It was perfect and I got to take it home! Kasey got one, too!


Kasey had to use the training wheels for her chopsticks :-)


This was my most delicious food! I couldn't stop eating it!


We had a wonderful Valentine's date!

So, Saturday was Valentine's Day! I was feeling a little sad about it, missing James, but I knew that Kasey would make me smile, and I was right. She made me smile many times all day. It started out nicely because Andrea from work got me a gift and told me to open it up when I was alone and feeling sappy. She said it would make me smile and it did. It was a beautiful plate that she decorated. It said congratulations and the date that James and I got engaged.


I am surrounded by amazing people!

Kasey and I spent the morning, first sleeping in, and then making a delicious breakfast! What can I say? The girl knows me. Food makes me happy. We had French toast, bacon, eggs, hash brown, and orange juice. It was a breakfast that James will certainly be jealous of. He loves breakfast, it's his favorite meal!


Yum.

Then later, Kasey and I went and got our nails done. James left me some money to keep just in case I needed it. I decided that Valentine's depression was a situation where I needed it, so sweet James treated me to my manicure. I actually got Gel UV something nails as a trial to see if I am going to have real or fake nails at the wedding. I have to say these nails and pretty cool and hassle-free. I don't have to worry about messing them up! It is kind of great!


Kasey and My beautiful nails!

Well, my day continued. I got home and checked my email to find a Valentine's email from James!! It was incredible. I got a great rush hearing from him. He said that he is doing well. He said it has been really busy, but he is finally getting some time to himself. Have I mentioned how much I miss him?! Man, I do! After hanging out with Kasey, I headed over to see Max. He is one of my little sweeties. I play with him and his sister Claire once a week or so. It was very sweet. Claire had set up a little romantic dinner with wine glasses and everything! She even served Max and I our food after taking our order. So, Max was my hot Valentine's date this year (after Kasey, of course!). We had a great time.





Finally, the week didn't end there. On Sunday, I went to church and then the gym. I came home and got ready to go out to dinner one more time. We have lots of great family friends in town that I do NOT get to see enough. We went out to a little pizza place nearby and had a great time catching up. This was another time that I got to talk a lot about James and wedding. It was nice to see how everyone else was doing, too. It was just what the doctor ordered for the end of a great week!!



I discovered something this week. I like to be happy... Well, I didn't actually discover that, I already knew that... I like to smile and I like to laugh, I like to be happy. So, I am. The thing that I discovered is that there are some times where I feel more vulnerable to the pain. There is the truth of where James is and what he is doing... I miss him so much. It is so hard to keep it together when I am in certain situations and I am starting to see that it is okay if I can't. Sometimes crying just happens. Sometimes I am in bed or in my car all by myself, but honestly, sometimes I am in church not so much by myself. There is an expression "Have you ever loved somebody so much it hurts?" This seems like a bad kind of love, but it is really not. I know exactly what it is like to love somebody so much it hurts. And it is the most amazing and exhilarating love that you could possibly imagine.

Kasey, I can't thank you enough for the action-packed weekend that we had. I had a wonderful time. You make hard a little bit easier. I wish each of you a blessed and beautiful week to come! I will see you back here next week.

Be so safe my Sweet Sweet Sailor. Please hurry home to me.

always,
Jamie